Learning Comes Through Owning and Doing

Allowing Others to Make Mistakes

I don’t remember the first thing I baked on my own, but I grew up making cookies and muffins and other baked goods from a very young age. I enjoyed the process of making as well as the end result. I also ruined many cakes in the process.

My own kids are now also starting to bake and cook some of their own food. We enjoy making pancakes on the weekends, and occasionally they’ll want to make them on their own.

Of course, making pancakes isn’t too complicated. Mix a few ingredients, pour the batter, flip when ready, and enjoy. It’s easy for me, having done it hundreds of times. But for a young kid who’s only done it a few times, and rarely alone, it can be a challenge. What’s the right batter consistency? How do I pour without spilling on the stove? When do I flip? How do I flip without ruining the pancake? All questions we run into.

As a father, I like to step into help. Too often, though, I’m doing far more than I should. How can my daughter learn to flip a pancake if I’m the one always flipping them? How will they learn the right batter consistency if I step in to correct them?

It’s a difficult balance to strike. I don’t want them to struggle or mess up a pancake, but I also want them to learn and own the process as much as they can so they have the skills and confidence to do it.

Owning the Process

It’s easy, especially when we’re very good at something, to step in frequently to avoid letting someone fail. This is often a mistake.

For my kids, they will have to make mistakes so they can learn from them. That may mean batter that is too thick or too runny. It may mean making a mess on the stove. And it may mean a few burnt pancakes. But those are small prices to pay for our kids to learn how to do it on their own and feel like they owned the process.

I see this often with teams in companies I work with as well.

It’s easy, as an expert or someone with years of experience, to step in too early to take over.