The Most Underrated Product Skill
Saying “No” with Clarity and Care
Several years ago, I volunteered to help plan and run our high school reunion. I know that I’m the type of person who can get things done, plan successful events, and organize groups successfully. So I wanted to help. But I ended up saying “yes” to doing way too many things.
It was when I was working full time, consulting, and running another side business. To add another item to my plate was a mistake. Not only that, but I continued to take on more and more of the planning until I was utterly overwhelmed.
The reunion was great, and I think everyone thoroughly enjoyed it. But the memory of planning it still triggers major anxiety for me.
The right thing for me to have done would have been to take on much less. I could have said “no” to several things and let others pick those up. And in the years since, I’ve continued to improve my ability to say “no” to taking on too much (though I’m still far from perfect at this).
As product managers, we often hear that we need to “get better at saying no.” This is true, but also not very helpful.
The real challenge isn’t just saying no.
It’s saying no without damaging trust or relationships.
In many organizations, especially larger ones with different departments and groups, a poorly delivered no can hurt you or your team more than a missed delivery. It often teaches stakeholders that the product team is dismissive, opaque, or purely process-driven. And once we erode trust, every future decision will be harder.
Saying no isn’t just a necessary part of product management. It’s a critical leadership skill.
Saying No to Protect Focus
Every time we say yes to something, it creates a hidden cost. Taking on another feature or project means more coordination, more context switching, more cognitive load for the team, and more commitments or dependencies.
We have to say no, usually more often than we’d like.
Prioritization, and saying no, is one of the most important product management skills. Part of prioritization is saying yes to some things and saying no to many more things.
As Steve Jobs famously put it:
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”
Saying no is a crucial responsibility of good product managers and product leaders. It’s about stewardship over your product and team. But we also have to be effective in how we say no.
Saying No Effectively
Be Clear
It's easy to be unclear when saying no:
